For subscribers only

3 Empowering Tips for Surviving Feedback - the Good and the Bad

Layne McDonald. Ph.D.

Layne McDonald, Ph.D.

Are you committed to changing your life? Congratulations! But don’t be surprised when people start offering you advice and opinions on what you should and should not do.

The following tips will help you navigate your way through the abundance of opinions you’re sure to face to create a life you love.

1. Feedback is always given through the eyes of the giver.

Have you ever noticed how some people state their opinion or give their feedback as if they have all the answers?

To endure any feedback, especially the unsolicited and unkind, one of the most empowering things you can do is ask the question:

Is the feedback being given based on fact or personal opinion?

Feedback based on fact is inarguable. If you have blue eyes and someone states that you have blue eyes, there’s no wiggle room. You do have blue eyes, and anyone can tell by looking at you that you have blue eyes.

On the other hand, if someone states you have beautiful eyes, the door is open to interpretation. Some people may agree that you do have beautiful eyes. But there may be others who don’t like blue eyes, or blue eyes remind them of their ex, so therefore, they disagree and will not find your blue eyes beautiful.

Most people speak as though their opinions are facts when they are just that, an opinion.

Therefore, as you listen to feedback, remember to filter the input through one question:

Is this feedback based on fact or personal opinion?

2. You get to decide how you’re going to receive it.

I learned a tip a long time ago that has served me well. When someone offers me their feedback, I’ve learned I don’t have to accept it right away. Instead, I thank you and tell them I’ll think about what they just said.

This will buy you time.

You don’t have to react to feedback at the moment. You can take your time and process the feedback slowly.

Let’s face it; good feedback is more accessible to swallow than bad. If you’re faced with harsh feedback, DON�T react to it at the moment. It’s given. Instead, give yourself time to process the input when you’ve had a chance to calm down and become more objective.


Giving yourself time will provide you with a chance to react to feedback from a place of power and care for yourself.

3. You always get the final say.

O.K., you got some feedback and gave yourself time to process it. Now what?

You get to decide whether or not you accept it.

You never have to agree with or accept the feedback given to you � ever!

But there may be times it would be wise to do so. If someone gives you feedback based on years of experience, it may be wise to heed their advice. On the other hand, if someone gives you feedback but can’t back up their feedback with supporting evidence, you may be dealing with more fluff than sturdy advice.

If you’re not sure whether to accept the feedback you’re given, ask the giver to tell you why they have the opinion they do. If their idea is based on a successful history dealing with a similar situation, you may want to listen. You may want to toss it out the window if it's not.

And don’t forget, no one will ever make better decisions than you! Therefore, listen to the advice of others but only keep what works for you and throw out the rest. Trust your wise inner self to lead you in the right direction, and you’ll make the best decision for yourself in the long run.

Subscriber content only

To access this content and all of our unlimited content subscribe now