7 Mistakes You're Making with Guarding Your Heart (and How to Fix Them)

Guarding your heart isn't about putting up a "Do Not Enter" sign, nor is it about building a fortress around your feelings. But it is about practicing godly wisdom, setting boundaries, and keeping Christ at the center of every relationship, friendship, and interaction. Let’s look at the top seven ways Christians (yep, even the most devoted ones!) get this wrong: and what you can do today to start guarding your heart with confidence, courage, and joy.

Mistake #1: Getting Emotionally Deep Too Fast

Ever felt like you’re on a reality TV show where after three coffee dates you’re picking out wedding china in your head? You’re not alone! Many believers get swept away and let their emotions race ahead of genuine commitment. Proverbs reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV).

How to Fix It:

• Build trust one memory at a time: don’t overshare your entire life story with someone new.

• Pace emotional intimacy to match the actual commitment level.

• Regularly ask God for discernment in how much to invest, and when.

Mistake #2: Oversharing Too Soon

You click. They get you. It’s tempting to tell them every hope, hurt, and secret by Week Two. But slow down, friend: sharing deeply is only wise when trust is proven.

How to Fix It:

• Use the “one brick at a time” method: share a little, observe their response.

• Practice vulnerability, but don’t feel pressured to spill everything fast.

• Remember: It’s okay to protect what God is still healing in you!

Mistake #3: Spiritual Fast-Tracking (Praying Together Too Early)

Praying as a team is powerful: but deep spiritual intimacy in a brand-new relationship often bonds hearts faster than wisdom suggests. Shared prayer creates a unique closeness meant for deeper stages of relationship.

How to Fix It:

• Pursue God individually while getting to know each other.

• Once commitment has grown, invite Him into the center together.

• If you do pray together, keep it simple and public (group/family settings).

Mistake #4: Future-Tripping Too Early

Ever start talking about “our kids one day” on the second date or hint at marriage before you’ve discussed favorite pizza toppings? Hoping ahead can set up both hearts for confusion (and let’s be honest: awkwardness).

How to Fix It:

• Enjoy the present without mapping out the next ten years on Day 10.

• Let the relationship pass through seasons and see how God provides.

• When commitment is clear, then dream together: give the future to God first.

Mistake #5: Thinking “Guard Your Heart” Means No Feelings Allowed

Let’s clear this up: guarding your heart isn’t coldness or emotional lockdown. Some believers misinterpret this wisdom as “never feel anything, ever.” But God made our emotions as part of His good design!

How to Fix It:

• Acknowledge your feelings: they’re natural and not bad!

• Make decisions based on your values and God’s voice, not emotions alone.

• Don’t build walls so high you keep everyone (even God) out.

Mistake #6: Buying Into Media Myths About Love

Instagram highlight reels, rom-coms, TikTok “relationship goals”: it’s easy to start expecting real people to act like fictional characters. But movies aren’t reality, and picture-perfect couples don’t show the messy, faithful work of real love.

How to Fix It:

• Give each relationship room to be messy, awkward, and authentic.

• Unfollow accounts that make you compare or feel “less than.”

• Seek mentors and community rooted in God’s truth, not trending opinions.

Mistake #7: Letting Emotions or Others Dictate Your Choices

Sometimes you might drift with the crowd or let “butterflies” override wisdom. Or maybe your friends’ opinions, a dating app match, or someone else’s expectations start steering your heart.

How to Fix It:

• Pause! Ask God: “What do YOU say about this?”

• Surround yourself with friends, family, or mentors who want God’s best for you.

• Stand firm in your worth: you are God’s, and He has a plan that doesn’t require compromise.

The Biblical Truth About Guarding Your Heart

Guarding your heart doesn’t mean living in fear, suspicion, or isolation. It means being strong and wise enough to invite only what builds you up closer to Christ. Jesus calls us to love boldly, but also to exercise wisdom with who and how we trust.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23

Practical Tips for Guarding Your Heart Daily

Here are some mini “heart check” questions you can use at school, work, church, or even on social media:

• Does this person draw me closer to Christ or away?

• Am I rushing emotional, spiritual, or physical intimacy?

• Do I give away my heart to anyone who asks, or am I prayerful about who I let in?

• Is this relationship healthy, challenging me, and lined up with God’s Word?

• Am I finding my worth in Christ: not from others’ attention, likes, or approval?

Next Steps: You’re Not Alone in This!

Every heart matters. If you want to talk to someone, get prayer, or find Christ-centered coaching about relationships, boundaries, and thriving as a young Christian, let’s connect! Dr. Layne McDonald is here for you with youth-friendly workshops, books, and one-on-one mentoring. Visit Layne McDonald Ministries to explore personal growth tools and upcoming events.

Ready to protect, grow, and share your heart with confidence? Start today by practicing these fixes: your future self will thank you.

Written by Dr. Layne McDonald: Professional Coach, Pastor, Published Author, Musician, and Video Course Teacher. For more mentorship, encouragement, and practical workshops, check out Layne McDonald’s resources and join the movement for faith-fueled living.