Tuesday Church Leadership Coaching: 5 Mistakes Christian Leaders Make (and Steps to Correction)

Hey friends! Tuesday means it's time for some real talk about leadership. After years of coaching Christian leaders and pastors, I've noticed some patterns, both the good and the not-so-good. Today, we're diving into five mistakes I see way too often in Christian leadership circles.

But here's the thing: I'm not sharing these to beat anyone up. We've all been there. I've made every single one of these mistakes myself! The goal is to learn, grow, and become the leaders God has called us to be.

So grab your coffee, and let's get real about leadership.

Mistake #1: Wasting Leadership Capital on Petty Battles

Leadership capital is like money in the bank, you earn it slowly through trust, consistency, and good decisions. But man, can you blow through it fast with one dumb move.

I've watched too many leaders drain their influence on social media squabbles, personality conflicts, or fighting battles that don't actually matter for the kingdom. Every time you engage in online drama or pick a fight over something trivial, you're spending precious leadership capital that took months or years to build.

Steps to Correction:

• Before posting that response or taking that stand, ask yourself: "Is this worth my leadership capital?"

• Create a 24-hour rule for controversial responses, sleep on it first

• Focus your energy on battles that actually advance God's kingdom

• Remember: not every hill is worth dying on

The question isn't whether you're right, it's whether this particular fight serves your mission and the people you're called to lead.

Mistake #2: Poor Communication (Especially When People Push Back)

Here's what I've learned: most people aren't actually opposed to change, they're opposed to being left out of the conversation. When leaders announce the "what" without explaining the "why," people feel confused and excluded.

Even worse, many leaders treat resistance like rebellion. But here's the truth: sometimes the people pushing back are trying to save you from a mistake. They're not your enemies, they might be your greatest assets if you'll actually listen.

Steps to Correction:

• Always lead with the "why" before the "what"

• Create safe spaces for people to voice concerns and questions

• Listen first, defend second (or better yet, don't defend at all, just understand)

• Communicate the vision multiple times, through multiple channels

• Thank people for their honesty, even when it's uncomfortable

Remember: communication isn't just talking, it's making sure you're understood.

Mistake #3: Leading Without Humility

This one hits close to home because pride is so sneaky. It disguises itself as confidence, vision, or "just getting things done." But leadership without humility is just manipulation with good intentions.

I see leaders who use a magnifying glass to examine everyone else's faults but never look in the mirror to examine their own. They make everything about them, their vision, their way of doing things. But biblical leadership is about setting others up to flourish, not building your own kingdom.

Steps to Correction:

• Establish regular accountability relationships with people who have permission to challenge you

• Practice public celebration of others and public acknowledgment of your own mistakes

• Ask your team regularly: "How am I doing? What could I do better?"

• Remember: your job is to make others successful, not to be the star of the show

• Seek feedback before making major decisions

Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.

Mistake #4: Managing Truth Instead of Speaking It

This might be the most dangerous mistake on the list. When leaders start managing truth, spinning it, hiding it, or watering it down, they destroy the foundation of trust that leadership requires.

I've seen churches and ministries crumble because leaders chose legal advice over biblical principles, or because they tried to "manage" a crisis instead of addressing it honestly. Here's the hard truth: no truth equals no trust. And without trust, you can't lead anyone anywhere.

Steps to Correction:

• Make transparency a non-negotiable value in your organization

• When mistakes happen (and they will), lead with honesty, not damage control

• Choose biblical principles over legal convenience when they conflict

• Create a culture where truth-telling is rewarded, not punished

• Address sin directly and biblically, don't hide it, manage it, or spin it

Your reputation might take a hit in the short term, but your integrity will carry you through the long haul.

Mistake #5: Trying to Change People You Don't Love

This one's personal. Too many leaders want to transform churches, organizations, or teams they've never learned to love. They see obstacles instead of people, problems instead of potential.

And here's the companion mistake: making decisions first and asking God to bless them later. We plan, strategize, and implement, then pray for God's blessing on what we've already decided. That's backwards leadership, and it shows.

Steps to Correction:

• Spend time getting to know your people before trying to change your organization

• Start every major decision with prayer, not end with it

• Build genuine relationships across your church or organization, not just with the people who agree with you

• Ask yourself: "Do I genuinely love these people, or do I just want to use them to accomplish my vision?"

• Commit to staying long enough to see real change, transformation takes time

Love isn't just a feeling, it's a commitment to seek someone's highest good, even when it costs you something.

The Path Forward

Here's the good news: every one of these mistakes is correctible. God's grace covers our leadership failures, and His wisdom can guide us toward better patterns.

The key is being honest about where you are right now. Which of these mistakes hit home for you? (If none of them did, you might want to check your humility meter, we've all got blind spots!)

Leadership isn't about being perfect. It's about being faithful, growing in wisdom, and serving the people God has entrusted to your care.

Your Next Step

If you're reading this and thinking, "Man, I need help working through some of these leadership challenges," I've got good news. You don't have to figure this out alone.

I'm offering free 30-minute coaching calls to help Christian leaders identify their biggest challenges and create a plan for growth. No sales pitch, no pressure: just a conversation between leaders about how to lead better.

Whether you're dealing with communication issues, struggling with a difficult transition, or just feeling stuck in your leadership, sometimes talking through your situation with someone who's been there can make all the difference.

Book your free coaching call today: let's tackle these leadership challenges together and help you become the leader God has called you to be.

Remember: great leaders aren't born, they're developed. And development happens best in relationship with others who are committed to growth.

What's your biggest leadership challenge right now? I'd love to help you work through it.

Grace and growth, Layne