7 Mistakes You're Making with Christian Leadership During the Holidays (And How to Fix Them)

December hits different when you're leading a church. The phone calls multiply, the expectations skyrocket, and somehow you're supposed to orchestrate the perfect Christmas experience while keeping your own family happy and your sanity intact. Sound familiar?

Here's what nobody talks about at leadership conferences: most of us are making the same seven mistakes every single holiday season. The good news? These aren't character flaws, they're fixable patterns. And once you spot them, you can turn your December from chaos into something that actually honors God and serves people well.

Mistake #1: Creating Holiday Expectations That Even Jesus Couldn't Meet

We've all done it. We paint pictures of Christmas morning magic, perfect family gatherings, and life-changing worship experiences that leave people feeling spiritually transformed forever. Then reality shows up.

Research shows that people experience what psychologists call the "broken promise effect" during holidays. When our heightened expectations crash into real life, complete with family drama, financial stress, and that uncle who brings up politics, the disappointment hits harder than it would in March.

The Scripture Fix: "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19). Notice Paul said "needs," not "wants" or "picture-perfect holiday dreams."

How to Fix It: Start managing expectations in November. Acknowledge from the pulpit that holidays amplify everything, joy AND grief, connection AND loneliness. Frame your Christmas messaging around God's faithfulness in both the manger moments and the messy ones. Your people need permission to have a real Christmas, not a Hallmark movie.

Mistake #2: Saying Yes to Everything (Because Jesus Would Want You To, Right?)

If I had a dollar for every pastor who scheduled seventeen Christmas events because they couldn't disappoint anyone, I could buy everyone reading this a really nice coffee. The pressure to be available for every request, attend every gathering, and make everyone happy is crushing church leaders nationwide.

The Scripture Fix: Even Jesus withdrew from crowds to pray alone (Luke 5:16). If the Son of God needed boundaries, maybe you do too.

How to Fix It: Before December arrives, write down your top three holiday priorities. Not five. Not ten. Three. Everything else gets a gracious "no." Practice this phrase: "I'm honored you thought of me, but I won't be able to participate this year." Most people respect clear, honest boundaries more than reluctant participation.

Mistake #3: Writing Your Christmas Eve Sermon on Christmas Eve

Procrastination hits church leaders hard during the holidays. We tell ourselves we work better under pressure, or that inspiration will strike at the perfect moment. Meanwhile, we're crafting the year's most attended service message between dinner and bedtime on December 24th.

The Scripture Fix: "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness" (Proverbs 31:27). The virtuous woman planned ahead: and she didn't even have PowerPoint.

How to Fix It: If you're reading this in early December and haven't started your Christmas planning, start today. Block out your Christmas Eve sermon prep time right now. Create a simple timeline with your must-do items mapped out by specific dates. Future you will thank present you for this gift.

Mistake #4: Cramming Twelve Programs into Twenty-Four Days

December becomes the most program-heavy month of the year for most churches. Christmas choir, children's pageant, candlelight service, youth Christmas party, seniors' luncheon, staff party, board meeting, and somehow regular Wednesday night Bible study too. By December 26th, everyone is exhausted instead of refreshed.

The Scripture Fix: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). If your church calendar is creating weariness instead of rest, something needs to change.

How to Fix It: Apply the one-for-one rule: for every special holiday event you add, cancel one regular program. Consider combining services where possible. Ask yourself: "Will this draw people closer to Jesus, or just keep them busier?" Your congregation needs breathing room to actually experience the peace of Christmas.

Mistake #5: Forgetting You're Human Too

Church leaders often become emotional sponges during the holidays, absorbing everyone else's stress while neglecting their own spiritual and emotional needs. You bounce between visiting the grieving widow and celebrating with the young couple announcing their pregnancy, all while managing your own family's expectations and your church's demands.

The Scripture Fix: "But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray" (Luke 5:16). Jesus regularly pulled away to recharge. This wasn't selfish: it was essential.

How to Fix It: Schedule your own emotional recovery time. Block out specific hours for personal prayer, family time, and doing absolutely nothing ministry-related. Reframe your holiday obligations as privileges instead of burdens. When you shift from "I have to visit the hospital" to "I get to bring comfort to someone in need," your entire perspective changes.

Three Family-Serving Tips:

Mistake #6: Missing Christmas Eve's Evangelistic Gold Mine

Many churches treat Christmas Eve like a day off, giving staff the evening free and treating it as a low-key family time. This misses one of the year's biggest outreach opportunities. Christmas Eve draws more visitors than any other service: people who don't normally attend church but are seeking something spiritual during the season.

The Scripture Fix: "Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame" (Luke 14:21). The kingdom invitation goes out especially to those who don't usually come to the banquet.

How to Fix It: Treat Christmas Eve like the evangelistic opportunity it is. Prepare your best welcome, your clearest gospel presentation, and your warmest follow-up strategy. Make sure your staff is present and prepared to connect with visitors who might be taking their first step toward faith.

Mistake #7: Limiting Your Christmas Eve Impact

Related to the previous mistake is scheduling only one Christmas Eve service. This limits your capacity and misses different demographics who prefer different times: families with small children want earlier services, while young adults often prefer later ones.

The Scripture Fix: "I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some" (1 Corinthians 9:22). Paul adapted his approach to reach different groups effectively.

How to Fix It: Plan multiple Christmas Eve services at different times. Consider a family-friendly 4 PM service, a traditional 7 PM service, and perhaps a contemplative 11 PM candlelight service. Each can have its own feel while maximizing your reach to different community segments.

The goal isn't to do Christmas perfectly: it's to do Christmas faithfully. When you avoid these seven mistakes, you create space for authentic ministry that serves both your congregation and your own family well.

Remember, the best Christmas gift you can give your church is a leader who's spiritually healthy, emotionally present, and genuinely excited about celebrating Jesus' birth: not someone who's barely hanging on until January 2nd.

If you're recognizing yourself in these mistakes, you're not alone. Every church leader faces these challenges, and the fact that you're reading this means you're already on the path to leading better this Christmas season.

Ready to transform your holiday leadership approach? I'd love to walk alongside you as you create a more sustainable and spiritually enriching Christmas season. Connect with me personally at laynemcdonald.com for one-on-one coaching, or if you're part of the Memphis community, reach out through First Assembly Memphis at famemphis.org/connect and I'll personally follow up with you as your online pastor.

Let's make this Christmas season one that truly honors God while blessing your family and congregation.