Book: Raising Giants – Chapter 18: Community – Raising Giants Within the Church
- Dr. Layne McDonald
- 5 days ago
- 9 min read
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” , Hebrews 10:24-25
The Myth of the "Rambo" Parent
Let’s be honest: modern parenting often feels like a solo survival mission in the middle of a hostile jungle. We’ve been fed a narrative of the "Nuclear Family" that is so self-contained, so autonomous, and so isolated that it would make a hermit look social. We think that if we just buy the right books, follow the right Instagram influencers, and lock our doors tight enough, we can produce spiritual giants in a vacuum.
We try to be the "Rambo" of parenting, strapped with high-octane devotionals, a bow made of homeschooling curricula, and enough organic kale to fuel a small army. We think, “I don’t need the village. I am the village. My spouse and I are a two-man special forces unit for Jesus.”
But here is the high-stakes truth that no one wants to admit at the playground: Rambo doesn’t raise giants.
Solitary soldiers might survive a skirmish, but they don't build kingdoms. Giants are not manufactured in a lab or grown in a private garden; they are forged in the fires of a community. If you try to raise a giant in isolation, you won’t get a David; you’ll get a spiritual shut-in who has no idea how to function in the Body of Christ.
No family is an island, and if you try to make yours one, you’re eventually going to run out of supplies. You were never meant to carry the weight of your child’s eternal destiny entirely on your own shoulders. God designed the local church not just as a place for you to sit and get fed, but as the essential ecosystem where your children's faith becomes real, durable, and multi-dimensional.
It takes a church to raise a giant. And in this chapter, we’re going to talk about why the "Village" isn't a cliché, it’s a biblical requirement.
The Spiritual Ecosystem: Why the Church Reinforces the Home
If the home is the greenhouse where the seed of faith is planted, the local church is the atmosphere, the soil, and the irrigation system that ensures it grows into a mighty oak. You can have the best seeds in the world, but if you plant them in a closet, they’re going to wither.
We often treat the church like a spiritual "extra-curricular." We fit it in between soccer tournaments and Sunday brunches. We treat it like a car wash, something we do once a week to get the "world" off our kids before we head back into the grind. But in the Kingdom of God, the local church is the primary context for the family.
1. The Power of "Shared Reality"
One of the hardest things about raising giants in a secular culture is the feeling of "Otherness." Your kids go to school or look at their phones and see a world that lives by a completely different set of rules. If the only people they ever see living for Jesus are Mom and Dad, they might start to think that Christianity is just a "family quirk."
“Oh, that’s just a weird thing my parents do, like how Dad likes wearing socks with sandals.”
But when they walk into a local church, their reality expands. They see the lawyer in the front row worshiping with tears. They see the teenager they look up to serving in the nursery. They see the elderly couple who has walked with Jesus for sixty years still showing up with a Bible in their laps. Suddenly, the "Word" isn’t just a house rule: it’s a community reality. It becomes a culture.
2. The Multi-Voice Principle
Let’s be real: at some point, your kids are going to get tired of your voice. It’s a biological and spiritual inevitability. You could tell them the sky is blue, and they’ll check Google just to be sure you aren’t "gaslighting" them.
But when a youth leader, a Sunday school teacher, or a godly mentor says the exact same thing you’ve been saying for ten years? Suddenly, it’s a revelation.
Parents often get frustrated when this happens. “I told him that for a decade!” we scream into our coffee. But instead of being frustrated, we should be celebrating. This is the "Village" at work. The Holy Spirit uses the diverse voices of the Body of Christ to reinforce the truth taught in the home. A giant needs to hear the truth from multiple angles to believe it’s truly universal.
The Hebrews 10 Mandate: Not Just a Suggestion
The author of Hebrews wasn't just giving a polite suggestion when he wrote, "Not giving up meeting together." He was issuing a survival command. He knew that the "Day" was approaching: that life is hard, persecution is real, and the heart is prone to wander.
For the parent raising a giant, Hebrews 10:24-25 is your strategic blueprint. Notice the language: “Consider how we may spur one another on.”
This implies intentionality. You don’t just "show up" to church; you enter into a covenant of mutual provocation toward holiness. When you bring your children into the local church, you are placing them in a "spurring" environment.
In a healthy Assemblies of God community, this "spurring" takes a specific form. It’s the move of the Holy Spirit through the gifts of the Body. Your children need to see the gifts of the Spirit in operation. They need to hear the word of wisdom, see the laying on of hands for healing, and experience the weight of corporate prayer. This isn't something you can replicate on a living room couch with a YouTube sermon.
There is a corporate "glory" that descends when the people of God gather that acts as a spiritual fertilizer for a child’s soul. You are teaching them that they belong to something bigger than their own individual needs. You are teaching them they are part of a Kingdom.
The Multi-Generational Advantage
One of the greatest tragedies of modern church life is the "silo-ing" of generations. We’ve become so obsessed with "age-appropriate" ministry that we’ve accidentally cut our children off from the very people they need most: the elders.
A giant needs to see the finish line. They need to see what faith looks like when the hair turns grey and the joints start to ache. They need "Aunties" and "Uncles" in the faith who aren't their biological relatives but who love them with a spiritual ferocity.
The "Titus 2" Safety Net
The Bible describes a beautiful ecosystem where older men teach younger men and older women mentor younger women. In the context of raising giants, this is your safety net.
When your daughter is struggling with her identity, she doesn't just need your perspective; she needs the perspective of the woman in the choir who has survived three decades of corporate life while keeping her soul intact. When your son is battling temptation, he needs the "Uncle" in the men’s group who can look him in the eye and say, "I’ve been there, and here is how Jesus brought me through."
If you are raising your kids in a church where they only interact with people their own age, you aren't raising giants; you’re raising a tribe. Giants need the wisdom of the ages. They need to hear the stories of the saints who went before them.
Why Home-Only Discipleship Often Fails
There is a growing trend of "Family Integrated" extremists who believe the church should have no programs, no nurseries, and no youth groups: that it should strictly be a gathering of families where the father does all the teaching. While the intent of reclaiming parental responsibility is noble, the "Family-Only" model often fails for one simple reason: it ignores the "Body" theology of the New Testament.
The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you." And the Parent cannot say to the Youth Pastor, "I have no need of you."
When we isolate our families from the specialized gifts of the church, we deprive our children of:
Peer Accountability: Giants need other giants-in-training to sharpen them (Proverbs 27:17).
Diverse Modeling: They need to see that following Jesus looks different for a single person, a missionary, a blue-collar worker, and a scholar.
Service Opportunities: The church provides a "practice field" where children can use their spiritual gifts to serve others, not just receive.
If your child’s entire spiritual life is filtered through you, what happens when they have a conflict with you? If you are the only source of truth, and they are mad at you, they will often reject the truth because they can't separate the message from the messenger. But if they are rooted in a community, they have other "nodes" of faith to hold onto while they work through their stuff with you.
Overcoming the "Village" Resistance
I know what some of you are thinking. “Layne, you don’t know my church. It’s messy. There’s drama. People are judgmental. I’ve been hurt.”
I hear you. I’ve been in ministry long enough to know that the "Village" is often more like a "Hole in the Wall" gang. The church is full of flawed, broken people. And sometimes, the very place that is supposed to protect your kids is the place that wounds them.
But here is the high-stakes reality: You cannot protect your children from the messiness of humanity by keeping them away from the church; you only protect them from the grace of God that flows through it.
If you pull your kids out of church because it’s "imperfect," you are teaching them a theology of perfectionism that doesn't exist. You are teaching them that when things get hard or people get weird, the answer is to run away.
Instead, use the "messiness" of the church as a training ground for the giant.
When someone is rude, teach your child about forgiveness.
When the sermon is boring, teach your child about spiritual discipline.
When there is a leadership crisis, teach your child about praying for authority.
If they don’t learn how to handle difficult Christians while they are under your roof, they will never survive as Christians once they leave it. The local church is the "simulator" for the Kingdom. It’s where they learn to love the unlovable, serve the ungrateful, and worship the Invisible God alongside visible sinners.
Leveraging the "Village" for Home Discipleship
So, how do we practically do this? How do we move from being "attendees" to "villagers"?
Prioritize Presence: You cannot be spurred on if you aren't there. Make Sunday morning (and midweek) the "Big Rocks" of your family calendar. If sports or hobbies are consistently pushing out the gathering of the saints, you are telling your kids that Jesus is a second-tier priority.
Build the "Third Space": Invite people from church into your home. Let your kids see you having coffee with the elders. Let them hear you praying for the missionaries. Make the "Church People" your "Family People."
Volunteer Together: Don't just drop them off at Sunday School. Serve in the food pantry together. Clean the sanctuary together. Let them see that the church is something we are, not just somewhere we go.
Talk Positively: If you spend your Sunday lunch "roasting" the pastor or complaining about the worship leader, don’t be surprised when your kids want nothing to do with the church. They are listening to your heart, not just your words. Protect the reputation of the Bride of Christ in front of your children.
The Takeaway
Your family is a vital cell in the Body of Christ, but it is not the whole Body. To raise a giant, you must plant them in the rich, messy, Spirit-filled soil of the local church. You need the "Village" to reinforce your voice, to catch your kids when they fall, and to show them the breathtaking scope of God’s global family.
No family is an island. It’s time to bring your giants home to the house of God.
Reflection Question: Is your family currently a "spiritual island," or are you deeply integrated into the safety and strength of a local church? If your kids were to describe "the church" based only on your attitude toward it, would they see it as a burden or a lifeline?
Prayer: Lord, thank You for the Body of Christ. Thank You that I don’t have to do this alone. Give me the humility to ask for help and the wisdom to plant my children in a community where they can grow. Heal any wounds from the past and lead us to a "Village" where Your Spirit is moving and Your Word is honored. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
About the Author: Layne McDonald, Ph.D.
Layne McDonald, Ph.D., is a dedicated husband, father, and minister with a passion for seeing the next generation rooted in biblical truth. With decades of experience in pastoral leadership and Christian education, Dr. McDonald specializes in helping families navigate modern culture through the lens of Scripture. His work focuses on emotional healing, spiritual discipline, and the restoration of the Christian family as the primary engine for discipleship.
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