Book: Raising Giants – Chapter 8: Identity in Christ vs. Identity in Likes
- Dr. Layne McDonald
- Jun 11
- 8 min read
"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." : Genesis 1:27 (NIV)
The Digital Mirror
There is a quiet, rhythmic sound that echoes through modern homes every evening. It isn’t the sound of conversation or the hum of the television; it is the soft thwack-thwack of a thumb scrolling against glass. Behind that thumb is a heart: often a young heart: searching for a specific kind of nourishment. They are looking for a "like," a "share," or a comment that says, "I see you, and you are enough."
We have entered an era where identity is no longer discovered; it is curated. For the first time in human history, our children are growing up with a digital mirror that never turns off. This mirror doesn’t just show them their reflection; it gives them a score. It tells them how many people approved of their breakfast, their outfit, their humor, or their political stance.
As parents, we are witnessing a fundamental shift in how the human soul understands itself. We are moving from a "Being" identity: grounded in our creation by God: to a "Performing" identity: grounded in the approval of the algorithm. If we are going to raise giants who can stand tall in a world of giants, we must help our children understand that they are not a brand to be managed; they are a masterpiece to be cherished.
The Algorithm of Comparison
The "like" button was originally designed as a small gesture of digital encouragement, but it has evolved into something far more potent. It has become a dopamine-fueled currency of social standing. When a child posts a photo and the "likes" start rolling in, their brain receives a hit of neurochemical reward. But when the "likes" stop: or never arrive at all: the silence feels like a verdict.
The verdict usually sounds something like this: You aren't interesting enough. You aren't pretty enough. You aren't as fun as that other person.
Social media doesn't just invite us to share our lives; it invites us to compare our "behind-the-scenes" with everyone else's "highlight reel." Our children see the filtered, edited, and perfectly lit versions of their peers and feel the crushing weight of their own unfiltered reality. This is the Algorithm of Comparison, and it is designed to keep them scrolling, searching, and eventually, starving for a validation that the internet can never truly provide.
Cultural Discernment: The Hidden Human Need
When we look at the digital landscape, we have to ask ourselves: What is actually happening?
On the surface, it’s just technology. But beneath the surface, there is a profound spiritual hunger. The "like" button is a modern surrogate for the biblical concept of blessing. Every human heart longs to be blessed: to be told by an authority figure that they are loved, accepted, and that their life has meaning.
Why does it matter spiritually? When a child turns to social media for this blessing, they are turning to a broken cistern. The internet is a fickle god. It loves you one day and cancels you the next. If a child’s identity is built on the sand of digital approval, they will be spiritually and emotionally unstable. They will become "people-pleasers" rather than "God-followers."
What is the hidden human need? The hidden need is the desire to be known. We were created by a God who knows the number of hairs on our heads. We crave that intimacy. However, the digital world offers visibility without intimacy. It offers the illusion of being known while actually increasing our loneliness.
What does Scripture reveal? Scripture reveals that our identity is not something we achieve; it is something we receive. Genesis 1:27 tells us that we are made in the Imago Dei: the Image of God. This is the ultimate "status update." Before you ever did a single thing, before you ever earned a grade, made a team, or posted a photo, God looked at you and said, "This is very good."
The Imago Dei: Your Child is a Masterpiece
In my years of family coaching, I have seen the transformative power of shifting a child’s focus from their "personal brand" to their "divine masterpiece."
A brand is something you build to sell yourself. It requires constant maintenance, damage control, and marketing. A brand is fragile. A masterpiece, however, is something that has inherent value because of who the Artist is.
When we teach our children about the Imago Dei, we are giving them an unshakeable foundation. We are telling them:
Your value is intrinsic. It cannot be added to by a thousand likes, and it cannot be taken away by a thousand dislikes.
Your value is eternal. While trends change and platforms die, your status as a child of God remains forever.
Your value is relational. You don't exist to be watched; you exist to be loved.
The Danger of the "Personal Brand"
Many well-meaning parents encourage their children to "build their brand" for future college applications or career opportunities. While there is wisdom in digital stewardship, we must be incredibly careful. When we treat our children like brands, we unintentionally teach them that their value is found in their utility.
If they are a brand, then every mistake is a public relations crisis. If they are a brand, they must hide their flaws and weaknesses. But the Gospel is built on the reality of our weaknesses. In the Kingdom of God, our flaws are not something to be edited out; they are the very places where God’s grace is most visible.
When a child feels they must maintain a "perfect" online persona, they lose the ability to be honest with God and with themselves. They become "whitewashed tombs": beautiful on the outside (the feed), but struggling on the inside.
Anchoring Identity in the Unchanging
How do we practically help our children navigate this? How do we anchor them in Christ when the world is pulling them toward the likes? It starts with the "5 Anchors of Identity."
Created by Design: Remind your child that they are not an accident. God purposefully chose their personality, their gifts, and even their "quirks."
Redeemed by Grace: Their value isn't based on their performance, but on Christ's performance. When they fail, they are still fully loved.
Called by Name: God doesn't see them as a "follower" or a "user." He knows their name. He has a specific purpose for their life.
Gifted for Purpose: Their talents aren't for showing off; they are for serving others. Shift the focus from "Look at me" to "How can I help you?"
Secure in Eternity: This life is just a vapor. The "likes" of this world are nothing compared to the "Well done" of the Father.
Practical Steps for Parents
Raising giants in a digital age requires more than just setting screen time limits. It requires a heart-level discipleship. Here are three practical steps you can take this week:
1. The "Why" Behind the Post Before your child posts something, ask them a simple, non-judgmental question: "What are you hoping happens after you post this?" If the answer is "I hope people think I'm cool" or "I want to see how many people like it," use that as a teaching moment. Discuss the hunger for approval and redirect them to God's existing approval.
2. Model Digital Sabbath If you are constantly checking your own "likes" and notifications, your child will notice. Show them that your identity is secure. Put the phone away during dinner. Go for walks without the camera. Show them that life is meant to be lived, not just documented.
3. Affirm Character Over Appearance In a world that celebrates the "outer self," be the voice that celebrates the "inner self." Instead of saying "You look so pretty in that photo," try saying "I was so proud of how you showed kindness to your sister today." When we affirm character, we are affirming the part of them that is truly made in God's image.
How Should Christians Respond?
As believers, we don't have to fear technology, but we must be its master, not its slave. We respond with Truth and Love.
The Truth: We must be honest about the psychological toll of social media. We must speak the truth about the vanity of digital applause. Ecclesiastes reminds us that "all is vanity" and chasing after wind. Chasing likes is exactly that: chasing the wind.
The Love: We must provide our children with the real-world community they are searching for online. The Church should be a place where they are seen, known, and loved for who they are, not what they do. We must love them enough to set boundaries that protect their souls, even when it's unpopular.
Reflection Questions
When was the last time you felt your own identity was affected by a digital interaction? How did you handle it?
Does your child seem more anxious after spending time on certain social platforms? What might that reveal about what they are seeking there?
How can you practically celebrate the Imago Dei in your home this week?
Are there areas where you have treated your child more like a "brand" than a "masterpiece"?
A Prayer for Your Child’s Identity
Heavenly Father, I thank You for the gift of my child. I thank You that before the foundation of the world, You knew them and loved them. I pray today that You would protect their heart from the lies of the enemy. When they look at a screen, help them to see through the filters. When they feel the pull of comparison, whisper the truth of their worth into their spirit.
Lord, let them be so grounded in Your love that the approval of man becomes a secondary concern. Help me to be a parent who models a secure identity in You. Let our home be a sanctuary of grace where character is celebrated and flaws are met with mercy. May my child grow to be a giant of faith, standing tall on the rock of Christ Jesus. Amen.
The Takeaway
Your child is not a data point. They are not a marketing demographic. They are not a brand to be optimized. They are a masterpiece of the Living God, created with intentionality and redeemed with a price. When the digital world screams for their attention, help them listen for the "still small voice" that says, "You are Mine, and I am well pleased."
In the next chapter, we will look at Raising Giants: Chapter 9: The Power of Presence in a Distracted World, where we explore how to reclaim our focus in an age designed to steal it.
Are we training our children to win the world's applause, or are we preparing them to stand before the only Audience that truly matters?
About Layne McDonald, Ph.D.
Layne McDonald, Ph.D., is an author, researcher, and educator dedicated to helping individuals and families navigate the complexities of modern culture through a biblical lens. With a background in theology and leadership, Dr. McDonald specializes in creating resources that bridge the gap between ancient Scriptural truth and contemporary life. His work is characterized by a commitment to the authority of God's Word, a deep understanding of human development, and a passion for equipping the next generation to lead with wisdom, grace, and eternal purpose. Through his books, Bible studies, and cultural commentary, he seeks to strengthen the Church and empower families to live faithfully in a rapidly changing world.
Comments