Book: Raising Giants – Study Guide: Chapter 6
- Dr. Layne McDonald
- Jun 9
- 7 min read
"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up." , Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NASB)
Welcome to the companion study guide for Chapter 6 of Raising Giants. If you’ve just finished reading the chapter, you know that the "giants" our children face aren't just out there in the culture, they are often the internal battles of identity, belonging, and purpose that are fought in the quiet moments of the home.
This guide is designed to move you from theory to practice. In the chapter, we discussed the theology of "presence", the idea that God is not a distant observer but a God who "tabernacled" among us. As parents, our primary tool for discipleship isn't a curriculum or a Sunday school program; it is our physical, emotional, and spiritual proximity to our children.
Discipleship happens in the "in-between" moments. It happens when you’re stuck in traffic, when you’re doing the dishes, and when you’re tucked into the corner of their bed at 10:00 PM. This guide will help you audit your current communication style, dive deep into the biblical blueprint for family discipleship, and give you practical prompts to start life-changing conversations today.
Section 1: Parental Self-Reflection
Auditing Your Presence
Before we can lead our children, we must look in the mirror. Presence is more than just being in the same room; it is about being available. In an age of digital distraction, we can be three feet away from our child and three thousand miles away emotionally.
Take a few minutes to answer these questions honestly. There is no condemnation here, only the opportunity for growth.
The Proximity Audit: In an average week, where do you spend the most "proximity time" with your child (car rides, meals, sports, etc.)? Are these moments characterized by distraction (phones, radio, rush) or by connection?
The "Present-ness" Scale: On a scale of 1 to 10, how "available" do your children perceive you to be when they have a random question or a sudden emotional need? What are the primary barriers to your availability?
The Tone Check: When you talk about spiritual things, what is your default tone? Is it a "lecture" (authoritative and one-way), a "coaching" session (interactive and guiding), or "story-sharing" (relatable and personal)?
The Listening Gap: When was the last time you sat and listened to your child talk for 15 minutes without offering a correction, a "back in my day" story, or a piece of advice?
The Emotional Temperature: Does your home feel like a "safe harbor" for hard questions, or a "courtroom" where every doubt or cultural observation is met with immediate judgment?
Section 2: The Biblical Blueprint
Bible Study: Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (The Shema for Parents)
In Chapter 6, we referred to the Shema, the central confession of faith for the people of Israel. But for parents, it is more than a confession; it is a pedagogical strategy. It is the original "Home Schooling" manual, and it focuses entirely on communication.
1. The Source (v. 4-6): "Love the Lord your God with all your heart..." Notice that the command to teach children doesn't appear until after the command to love God personally. You cannot give what you do not have.
Reflection: How is your own walk with Jesus fueling your conversations with your kids? Are you sharing fresh bread with them, or stale crumbs from ten years ago?
2. The Method (v. 7a): "Teach them diligently..." The Hebrew word for "teach diligently" (shanan) carries the idea of sharpening a blade or engraving. It implies repetition and precision. It’s not a one-time speech; it’s a lifelong honing.
Reflection: Discipleship isn't about the "Big Talk." It's about a thousand "Small Talks." Which of these feels more natural to you?
3. The Context (v. 7b): "When you sit... walk... lie down... rise..." God specifies four distinct rhythms of life. He is saying that spiritual truth should be integrated into the fabric of the day.
Sitting: Meals and rest.
Walking: Transition and travel (the modern-day car ride).
Lying Down: The end of the day, when the "defenses" are down.
Rising: The start of the day, setting the trajectory.
4. The Visibility (v. 8-9): "Bind them as a sign... write them on the doorposts..." Our homes should be visual reminders of the Kingdom. This isn't just about "Live, Laugh, Love" signs; it's about an environment where God’s Word is the primary lens for reality.
Section 3: Understanding Your Communication Style
Truth vs. Grace in the Home
In Raising Giants, we explore the balance between High Truth and High Grace. How we communicate with our children often falls into one of four quadrants. When we talk about cultural issues, "giants," or biblical truth, which quadrant are you speaking from?
Authoritarian (High Truth / Low Grace): "Because I said so." This style focuses on rules and obedience but lacks the connection needed for the heart. In this environment, kids often learn to hide their "giant" struggles for fear of punishment.
Permissive (Low Truth / High Grace): "Whatever makes you happy." This style focuses on the child's immediate emotional comfort but fails to provide the biblical boundaries they need to navigate a confusing culture.
Neglectful (Low Truth / Low Grace): "I'm too busy." This is the absence of presence. There is no guidance and no emotional support. This is where giants grow unchecked.
Authoritative (High Truth / High Grace): "I love you, and here is God's better way." This is the goal. It is the "Mind of Christ" in action. It provides clear biblical standards but delivers them through a relationship of deep trust and warmth.
Discussion Question: Think of a recent conflict or cultural topic you discussed with your child. Where did that conversation land on this chart? How would the outcome have changed if you moved toward the "Authoritative" (High Truth/High Grace) quadrant?
Section 4: Practice Exercise
"The Newsroom Altar"
One of the most powerful ways to exercise "presence" is to help your children interpret the world through a biblical lens. We call this "The Newsroom Altar", turning a current event, a news story, or a cultural trend into a moment of spiritual discernment.
The Exercise: Pick a current headline (it could be about technology, a local event, a movie, or a social trend) and walk through these three steps with your child:
Observation (The Hook): "I saw this story today about [Event]. What have you heard about that at school or online? What do people seem to be saying about it?"
Discernment (The Truth): "That’s interesting. You know, when I read that, I wondered what God thinks about it. If we look at [Scripture/Biblical Principle], how does that change how we see this story?"
Application (The Response): "Since we know God cares about this, how should we pray? How should we treat people who are involved in this?"
Why this works: It teaches your child that God isn't just "at church." He is the Lord of history, the Lord of the news, and the Lord of their social media feed.
Section 5: The Language of the Ages
Age-Appropriate Dialogue Prompts
Communication isn't one-size-fits-all. A preschooler needs wonder; a teen needs wisdom and a safe place to land. Use these prompts this week to spark a "Deuteronomy 6" moment.
For Preschoolers (Ages 3–6)
Focus: Wonder, Safety, and God’s Goodness
"Look at the sunset! God is such an amazing artist, isn't He? What’s your favorite color He used today?"
"When you feel scared at night, remember that God is even bigger than the dark. Can we ask Him to watch over your dreams?"
"Who is one friend at school who looked sad today? How can we show them Jesus’ love tomorrow?"
For Elementary (Ages 7–12)
Focus: Character, Choices, and Identity
"I saw you help your brother even when you were frustrated. That looked a lot like the kindness of Jesus. How did it feel to make that choice?"
"If someone at school said that the Bible isn't true, what would you say? Let’s look at why we can trust it together."
"What is something you’re really good at? How do you think God wants to use that 'giant' gift to help people?"
For Teens (Ages 13–18)
Focus: Discernment, Ownership, and Hard Questions
"I’ve been thinking about that [Movie/Song/Trend]. It seems to be saying that [Worldview]. Do you think that leads to life or to something else?"
"I know you’re facing a lot of pressure right now. I don't just want to give you a 'Christian answer', I want to hear how you’re really doing. What’s the hardest part of being a Christian in your circle right now?"
"I struggled with [Doubt/Mistake] when I was your age. Here is how God met me in that. Do you ever feel that way?"
Conclusion: The Goal of Proximity
The goal of Chapter 6 isn't to make you a perfect communicator. The goal is to make you a present parent. When we are close enough to hear their whispers, we are close enough to guide their hearts.
Proximity creates the "theology of the kitchen table." It's where the abstract becomes concrete. It’s where the "Giants" of the culture are unmasked by the light of the Gospel, shared over a bowl of cereal or a late-night drive.
This week, pick one daily rhythm, rising, walking, sitting, or lying down, and intentionally turn it into a "Presence" moment. Put the phone in the other room. Look them in the eye. And let the Holy Spirit lead the conversation.
About the Author
Layne McDonald, Ph.D., is an author, researcher, and educator dedicated to helping individuals and families navigate modern culture through a biblical lens. With a background in theology and leadership, Dr. McDonald focuses on creating practical resources that ground believers in the Word of God while addressing the complex emotional and spiritual challenges of the 21st century. His work is rooted in the belief that the home is the primary mission field and that through intentional discipleship, we can raise a generation capable of standing firm against the giants of our age.
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The Final Word: If your child walked into the room right now with a question that challenged everything you believe, would they find a parent who is ready to listen, or a parent who is too busy to be present?
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