Study Guide: The Discipleship Blueprint - Chapter 6
- Dr. Layne McDonald
- Jun 9
- 7 min read
"But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many." : Matthew 20:26-28 (NLT)
The High Stakes of the Heart
In the world of leadership, we are often obsessed with the "How." We want the five steps to a better team, the three keys to church growth, or the ultimate strategy for social media influence. But in the Kingdom of God, the "Why" is always the foundation of the "How."
When it comes to discipleship and mentoring, your motive is your message. You can say all the right things, quote all the right verses, and have a coffee meeting every Tuesday morning, but if your heart is subtly tilted toward your own glory, your mentee will feel it. They might not be able to name it, but they will sense the weight of your ego.
In Chapter 6 of The Discipleship Blueprint, we are pulling back the curtain on the mentor's motive. This study guide is designed to help you sit in the quiet with the Holy Spirit and ask the hard questions. Why are you doing this? Is it to build a legacy, or to build a life? Is it to gain followers, or to form disciples?
The Anatomy of a Mentor’s Heart
Mentorship is a sacred stewardship. It is the act of one person pouring their life, wisdom, and failures into another for the sake of the Kingdom. However, because we are human, our hearts are prone to "spiritual drift." We start with a desire to help, but slowly, that desire can transform into a need to be needed.
The Assemblies of God heritage has always emphasized the "Baptism in the Holy Spirit" as an empowerment for service. But that power was never meant to be a personal trophy. It was meant to be a tool for the harvest. When a mentor loses sight of the servant-nature of Christ, the relationship becomes transactional. You give wisdom; they give you respect. You give time; they give you a sense of importance.
But Jesus flips the script. He says that the greatest among us is the one who serves. He didn't just teach this; He wrapped a towel around His waist and washed the feet of the men who would eventually desert Him. That is the gold standard for the mentor’s motive.
The Three Great Drivers
There are usually three main drivers behind why we want to mentor others:
Legacy (The Self-Preservation Drive): We want our ideas and our way of doing things to live on. We want to see "mini-me" versions of ourselves running around. This isn't discipleship; it’s cloning.
Duty (The Legalistic Drive): We do it because "we're supposed to." We check the box, we meet the requirement, but there is no love in the labor. It feels like a chore, and eventually, the mentee feels like a project.
Love (The Kingdom Drive): We do it because we are overwhelmed by how much God has given us, and we simply cannot keep it to ourselves. We want the mentee to be better than us, faster than us, and more fruitful than us.
The Motive Mirror: Identifying the Drift
How do you know when your motives have drifted? Use the infographic below to help you identify the subtle shifts from a "Servant-Heart" to "Self-Glory."
When we operate from Self-Glory, we are often:
Defensive: We get upset when a mentee disagrees with our "wisdom."
Controlling: We want to make every decision for them to ensure they don't make us look bad.
Jealous: We feel a pang of resentment when they succeed in an area where we struggled.
When we operate from a Servant-Heart, we are:
Secure: Our identity is in Christ, not in our mentee's performance.
Empowering: We give away authority and trust the Holy Spirit in them.
Joyful: We celebrate their wins as if they were our own: because, in the Kingdom, they are.
The Mirror of the Word: 10 Heart-Check Questions
Take some time with these questions. Don't rush. This isn't a test you can "pass"; it’s an invitation to be refined.
If no one ever knew about my investment in this person, would I still do it?
Am I trying to make a disciple of Jesus, or a fan of myself?
How do I feel when they fail?
Am I okay with them doing things differently than I would?
Am I modeling a life of prayer and repentance, or just a life of "having it all together"?
Do I genuinely rejoice when they surpass me in skill, influence, or fruitfulness?
Am I equipping them to depend on the Holy Spirit, or to depend on me?
Am I doing this out of love, or out of a need to feel important/needed?
Am I willing to have the hard conversations, even if it risks them "liking" me less?
Am I modeling what I am asking them to live?
The Nurture of Discipleship
When your motive is pure: rooted in the love of Christ: the relationship becomes a place of life. Think of yourself as a gardener. You don't "make" the plant grow. You can't force the fruit to appear. All you can do is prepare the soil, provide the water of the Word, and ensure the plant is getting the "Son-light" it needs.
In the Assemblies of God tradition, we believe in the power of the Word and the Spirit working together. As a mentor, you aren't the source of power; you are the one holding the watering can. When you realize that the growth is God's responsibility (1 Corinthians 3:6), the pressure leaves your shoulders. You can stop trying to "control" the outcome and start enjoying the process.
Navigating the Ego Trap
Ministry and mentoring are high-risk environments for the ego. Why? Because we are doing "God’s work." It is very easy to wrap our pride in a "spiritual" package. We call it "vision" when it's really just our ambition. We call it "excellence" when it's really our need for perfection.
The Holy Spirit is the only one who can truly search the deep places of the heart. Psalm 139:23-24 should be the mentor's daily anthem: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."
When we allow the Spirit to examine our hearts, He doesn't do it to shame us. He does it to set us free. He wants to remove the heavy weights of self-glory so that we can lead with the "easy yoke" of Jesus. A mentor with a clean heart is the most dangerous person in the Kingdom because they have nothing to prove and nothing to lose.
Practical Steps: Moving from Authority to Service
How do we practically shift our posture? It begins with intentional choices:
Give Away the "Win": If you are mentoring someone in a ministry setting, let them lead the meeting. Let them take the credit for the success. Practice being the "support staff" to their "lead role."
Confess Your Mistakes: Intentionally share a story of when you failed or got it wrong. This breaks the "pedestal" that mentees often put their mentors on and grounds the relationship in shared grace.
Ask More, Tell Less: Instead of giving "The Answer," ask: "What do you think the Holy Spirit is saying to you about this?" This empowers their own discernment.
Pray for Them Privately: If you find yourself getting frustrated with a mentee, stop talking to them and start talking to God about them. Prayer changes your heart toward them faster than anything else.
A Prayer for a Servant’s Heart
Lord Jesus, I thank You that You did not come to be served, but to serve. I thank You that You saw me in my brokenness and didn't see a project, but a person to be loved. I confess that sometimes my heart drifts toward my own glory. I confess that I like to be needed and I like to be right.
Holy Spirit, I ask that You would refine my motives. Wash me clean from the need for legacy or the desire for control. Give me a heart that genuinely rejoices in the success of others. Help me to see the people I mentor through Your eyes: as precious stewards of Your Kingdom.
Teach me how to wash feet. Teach me how to empower, how to trust, and how to step back so that You can step forward in their lives. Let my life be a pointer to Your grace, not a monument to my own wisdom. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Action Steps for This Week
Schedule a "Motive Audit": Spend 30 minutes in silence with the 10 Heart-Check questions listed above. Write down what the Spirit brings to mind.
The "Secret" Investment: Do something for your mentee this week that they will never know about. Pray for them, clear a path for them, or provide a resource anonymously.
Ask for Feedback: If you have a high-trust relationship with your mentee, ask them: "Is there any area where you feel I am being too controlling or where you'd like more freedom to lead?" (Warning: Only ask this if you are ready to listen without getting defensive!)
Discipleship isn't about how much you know; it's about how much you love. When the motive is right, the impact is eternal.
Layne McDonald, Ph.D.
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If your mentee were to surpass you in every way by this time next year, would you be their biggest cheerleader or their biggest critic?
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