The Power of Presence: A Story of One Conversation

By Dr. Layne McDonald

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She sat across from me at a small table in a Midtown Memphis coffee shop, stirring her drink without actually drinking it. Her eyes kept darting to the door like she might bolt at any second.

I didn't ask her what was wrong. I just sat there.

Five minutes passed. Maybe ten. The barista called out orders. A street musician tuned his guitar outside on the sidewalk. Life kept moving around us, but I stayed still.

Finally, she spoke.

"I don't know why I called you. I just... needed someone who wouldn't try to fix me."

That conversation, if you can even call the first ten minutes a conversation, changed something in both of us. Because presence isn't about having the right words. It's about having the right posture. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.

The Currency of Attention

We live in a culture that treats attention like a scarce resource. We're checking our phones mid-conversation. We're planning our response while the other person is still talking. We're physically present but mentally a thousand miles away.

But real presence? That's different.

Real presence means you're not just hearing words, you're listening for what's underneath them. You're not waiting for your turn to talk. You're creating space for someone else's soul to exhale.

And here's what I've learned after years of coaching and ministry work: people can feel the difference between someone who's just waiting for their turn to speak and someone who's genuinely there.

Jesus modeled this constantly. He didn't rush the woman at the well. He didn't interrupt Nicodemus. He didn't multitask during meals with tax collectors and sinners. He showed up fully. He stayed. He listened with His whole being.

That's the kind of presence that changes lives.

The Memphis Lesson

I've lived in Memphis long enough to know that Southern hospitality isn't just about sweet tea and "bless your heart." It's deeper than that. It's about stopping on the porch to talk even when you're late. It's about asking "How's your mama doing?" and actually waiting for the answer.

There's a rhythm to life here that resists the frantic pace of modern culture. People still sit on front porches. Neighbors still know each other's names. And when someone says, "Let me know if you need anything," they actually mean it.

That's presence with a Memphis twist, unhurried, unfiltered, and unapologetically human.

But even here, we're fighting against the current. The notifications. The noise. The pressure to do more, be more, achieve more. And in the rush, we're losing the art of simply being with someone.

[BREATH SECTION]

Stop for a moment.

Put your phone face down. Close the other tabs. Take three slow breaths.

Now ask yourself: When was the last time someone was truly present with me? Not just in the same room, but really there?

How did it feel?

Now flip it: When was the last time I gave someone that gift?

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What Presence Actually Looks Like

Presence isn't complicated, but it is countercultural. Here's what it requires:

Your body facing theirs. Not angled toward the door or the TV. Not standing while they're sitting. Positioning yourself to communicate: You matter more than whatever else I could be doing.

Your eyes meeting theirs. Not scanning the room. Not checking your watch. Just eye contact that says, I see you.

Your phone in another zip code. Seriously. If you're checking notifications while someone's sharing their heart, you're not present. You're just occupying space.

Your agenda on pause. You don't have to solve anything. You don't have to teach anything. You don't have to fix anything. Sometimes people just need a witness to their pain, their joy, their confusion, their hope.

Your silence when it's needed. Not every pause needs to be filled. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is resist the urge to rescue someone from their own processing.

This is how God meets us: fully present, fully attentive, never rushed, never distracted. And when we show up for others this way, we're reflecting His image.

The Ripple Effect

Back to that coffee shop conversation. After those first ten quiet minutes, she started talking. Not because I asked the right question or used some counseling technique. She talked because she felt safe.

We sat there for almost two hours. I said maybe twenty sentences total. She did most of the talking. And by the end, something had shifted in her countenance. The weight she carried when she walked in wasn't gone, but it was lighter. Shared.

A few weeks later, she told me she had that same kind of conversation with her daughter. Then her daughter had one with a friend. Then the friend had one with her roommate.

Presence multiplies.

When you give someone the gift of your full attention, you're not just helping them. You're teaching them what it looks like to be present for others. You're creating a culture: one conversation at a time: where people feel seen, heard, and valued.

That's the kind of kingdom work that doesn't make headlines, but it changes everything.

Your Move

Here's your challenge this week: Have one fully present conversation.

Not while you're cooking dinner. Not during commercial breaks. Not on your commute. Set aside time: even just fifteen minutes: to be fully, completely present with another human being.

Turn off your phone. Make eye contact. Listen more than you talk. And resist the urge to fix, advise, or redirect.

Just be there.

Then pay attention to what happens. Notice how the other person responds. Notice what shifts in you. Notice how God shows up in the space between you.

And after you've had that conversation, I want you to do something else: Share this post with someone who gave you the gift of presence when you needed it most. Let them know they made a difference. Let them know you saw them seeing you.

Because in a world that's constantly moving, stopping for someone is a revolutionary act of love.

One More Thing

If you're reading this and realizing you can't remember the last time someone was fully present with you, that's okay. You're not alone. And you're not forgotten.

God is present with you right now. Fully attentive. Unhurried. Listening to the prayers you can't even put into words yet.

And if you need practical tools for showing up better: for others and for yourself: I've spent years developing resources that can help. Coaching. Books. Courses. All designed to help you become the kind of person who carries presence like a superpower.

Head over to www.laynemcdonald.com to explore what might be your next step. And here's something beautiful: every time you visit the site, you're raising funds for families who've lost children through Google AdSense: at absolutely no cost to you. Your presence there makes a difference too.

Also, if this post resonated with you, subscribe to our newsletter to get more faith-based, practical content delivered straight to your inbox. We're building a community of people who want to live with more intention, more presence, and more love.

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The woman from the coffee shop? She's doing great. We still meet up sometimes. And you know what's wild? She's become one of the most present people I know. She doesn't just take up space in a room: she fills it with the kind of attention that makes people feel like they're the only person in the world.

That's the power of presence. It's contagious. It's transformative. And it starts with one conversation.

Now it's your turn. Share this with someone who was present for you when it mattered. And then go be that person for someone else.

You've got this.

( Dr. Layne McDonald)